Dividing Lines
by NCCJFAN
Summary: It's sort of AU...has nothing to do with any of the episodes. Although once married, Jordan leaves Woody to go to New York and start her life over. Although furious with her, a series of events forces Woody to ask her to return as a favor to him. Can th
1. Humpty Dumpty

**Disclaimer: I don't own Crossing Jordan or the characters. I just use and abuse them and then put them back for Tim Kring to deal with.**

**Author's Note: This is sort of AU…thanks to Bourbon for the inspiration. It has nothing to do with any of the current or past seasons of CJ. It's just a "Gee this would be a good story, let's throw Woody and Jordan in as the main characters, have Cal in a supporting role (I love Cal…) and see what happens." I have tried my best to stay true to the characters that Tim Kring has created and Jerry and Jill have so wonderfully developed.**

**Thanks for listening and I hope you enjoy!**

**Chapter One**

**Humpty Dumpty Sat on a Wall**

"No…really Randy, I can't go out tonight. I have a ton of work to do and I'll be up to midnight as it is getting it all finished."

"Come on, Jordan, it's the third time I've asked you this week and it's the third time you've turned me down. You could give a guy a complex...what do I have to do to get you to go out with me?"

"Randy, honestly…it's just bad timing. The semester is nearly over and I have ton of grading to do. You know how it is."

"Yeah, I know." Randy turned to walk down the steps of Jordan's brownstone, defeat causing his shoulders to sag.

"Look, call me after finals are given. My calendar's clear then."

"Sure, Jordan. Whatever you say…" Randy got into his car and drove away through the night, leaving Jordan alone to let herself in her apartment. She wearily shoved her key in the lock and climbed the stairs up to her new home. Well, relatively new home. She had lived in New York three years now. Three years away from Boston…three years away from the morgue….three years away from her husband.

She closed the door behind her and dropped her keys and pocketbook on the couch, beginning to undress in route to her bedroom. She unzipped her skirt and slid it off, hanging it up, then did the same with her blouse. Bra came next and she donned her familiar girl boxers and tank top.

Three years. In some ways in seemed like yesterday she had loaded her car up and left everything familiar to her, and in other ways it seemed like an eternity. She tried hard not to think about what drove her from Boston…and most of the time she succeeded…until someone asked her out. She gazed down at her now ringless left hand. She knew putting back on her wedding and engagement rings would stop most men's advances, but she didn't have the heart to support a sham…something that was no longer truthful and real. And wearing those rings would do just that. She shook her head. She needed something to clear her mind. Determinedly she walked into her small kitchen and opened the freezer. Chocolate Hagaan-Daaz. Just what the doctor ordered. Retrieving a spoon from the drawer she went back into the living room, plopped down on the couch, and turned on The Tonight Show. Maybe mindless TV would take her mind off matters.

No such luck. Twenty minutes later she turned Jay Leno off in sheer frustration. Not even his monologue and chocolate ice cream could get her mind off Boston tonight. She leaned back on the couch and wondered just what was going on there now…what was happening at the morgue.

What her husband…or ex-husband…was doing.

Did he think of her as much as she still thought of him? She doubted it. It seemed he rarely thought of her often before she loaded up her SUV and left. However hard Woody had worked to get her down the aisle…it seemed he nearly forgot her after she said "I do."

The wedding…that had been so long ago. Nearly six years. Max had returned home to give her away…even if he wasn't returning to Boston to stay. During his travels he had met a woman he decided he wanted to stay with. He and Terese had married and now Max resided in Virginia. And it seemed that would be permanent. He had sold his house in Boston and his only physical tie left in that city was Jordan.

Woody had looked so handsome in his black tux. He had pursued her for years…and after his last promotion, he figured he was financially stable enough to ask her to marry him and for them to begin a family of their own. He had turned up the heat in their relationship…and eventually, she had willingly said "yes" to his proposal. When he slipped the engagement ring on her finger, she had been the happiest woman on earth. She wanted to be his wife more than anything.

And when she had said "I do" to him, she had meant it with her whole heart. She didn't think anything could split them up…after all, she was a cop's daughter and worked with police all the time with her job as a medical examiner. She knew what she was getting into with her eyes wide open … the times they would be apart…the hours he and she both had to work.

But she had been incredibly, undeniably, unbelievably wrong. The first year had been very good. After a short honeymoon, the couple had settled down into a Cape Cod house…three bedrooms, two baths. It was perfect. They decorated one bedroom as a guest room and held the other to be used as a nursery.

The second year was a little rockier. Woody got another promotion. His work load increased. Garret began to depend on her more and more at the morgue. They saw each other less and less. They began to quarrel about stupid things. Muddy shoes in the entrance way. Trash that didn't make it to the curb. His dirty boxers on the bedroom floor. Her make up crowding the bathroom sink.

However, it all was forgotten at night…when they would find each other again in bed. No matter what happened during the day, their problems always seemed to reach resolution the minute the lights went out and he reached for her. Whatever problems they may have otherwise, their sex life was always alive and healthy. Woody loved her like a man possessed. And she had relished the feeling, even if some days it faded away with the morning's glaring light.

Then at the end of the second year, she discovered she was pregnant. They had been elated. Woody carried the positive pregnancy test stick around in his pocket for days…showing it to everyone. They were going to be parents.

She was going to be a mother…she had been overjoyed.

Until one morning, two months later, when she woke to excruciating cramps and bloody sheets. Woody had frantically called her doctor, but there was nothing they could do. She was miscarrying.

She had lost the baby and in many ways, they had lost each other. After she recovered, Woody got yet another promotion. However unsophisticated and ill at ease the wonder boy from Wisconsin had seemed at one time, that was well behind him. Now he was on the fast track to becoming chief of police. She had been both proud and incredibly lonely at the same time as they steered into their third year of marriage. He was working more hours, and it seemed his nights at home and with her decreased more each week. The time they did have together was often interrupted by his ringing cell phone.

Not that she was doing a lot better. To cope with his absence, she worked as many hours as she could, but there still were many times she was home alone. She had tried to talk to him about it, but he brushed her off. "With this new promotion comes more responsibility, Jordan," he told her. "Of course, the pay is better, too. We'll be able to save more money, so that when we do have a baby, you can work part-time or stay home."

She nearly laughed at that. They hadn't even tried to get pregnant again after the miscarriage. He was gone so much, working so many hours, that when he did find his way to their bed, he was exhausted.

Jordan had tried to be understanding…supportive…but she missed him acutely. "Please…" she had begged. "Take some time off…let's spend a week together somewhere that there's no cell phones…no bodies…"

He kept promising, but never delivered. Finally, after nearly six months of seeing him very little, and him not touching her at all, she delivered the ultimatum. _Which is more important…me or your job?_

He had grown angry…"You're both important to me…can't you see that? I love you. You're my wife. But the job's important to me, too. It's something I've always wanted. Don't make me choose."

"I'm not…I'm just trying to tell you…I want more time with you…I'm not talking about a huge amount…just a couple of nights a week of your undivided attention."

His phone had rung then. He held up one finger, indicating to her to wait a minute.

She waited.

Two hours later, she was still waiting. Sighing, she had walked out of their kitchen and up the stairs.

They had done what they both had vowed would never happen. They had drifted apart and she didn't know how to bring them back together. Like Humpty Dumpty, their relationship was teetering on a wall…

She had asked him to spend more time with her. He said he couldn't. She went to counseling, to see if it all was in her mind and if there was something she could do to fix herself. She talked to Garret…who had said the same thing had happened to him and Maggie. In the end, nothing had worked. Just as Humpty Dumpty fell…so did their relationship, shattering into a million unmendable pieces

She resigned her post at the Massachusetts morgue and took a teaching job in New York City, in conjunction with the morgue there. One day while Woody was at work, she had loaded her SUV, left him a note, and drove away.

She hadn't been back since. She assumed he had settled for a no-fault divorce. Either way, she had not heard a word out of him since she fled Boston.

Fled Boston to start over for herself…try to find peace of mind…a slower life…someone to love her.

She had started over…but wasn't so sure how successful she was at the other three objectives. Randy liked her. She knew he did. A lot. But she still couldn't picture herself with anyone other than Woody….she could only see his arms around her and his hands touching her….his body loving her.

Jordan sighed as she got up from the couch and put her ice cream back in the freezer. The thoughts of Woody had rattled her. _It is going to be along night_, she thought, as she turned back her coverlet and sheets and climbed in the bed. Staring at the ceiling, she wondered if Woody was so busy that he never thought of her at all now…if he ever remembered how it used to be between them…

Did he ever care?

Or had he swept the pieces of their broken relationship under the rug of his career and moved on with his life? Out of sight, out of mind?

Jordan rolled over and punched her pillow. It had been three years. Who was she kidding? He had probably remarried and started over.

And she felt as if she was stuck…one foot in the past, wishing she could return to Boston and what they once had together….and one foot in the present with a stack of papers to grade and finals to administer next week. She groaned and shut her eyes tight.

_Funny, after Humpty Dumpty shattered into a million pieces…and all the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put him back together…no one ever said what happened to poor, old Humpty…I wish I knew what they did with all the pieces. Maybe that would give me some insight as to what I need to do next…._


	2. These are the Ties that Bind and Gag

**Chapter Two**

**These are the Ties that Bind and Gag**

Woody looked again at the piece of paper he held in his hand. It was official. Chief of Police Gains was retiring at the end of June…three months away. Woody sighed and ran a hand through his hair. It was definitely a good news bad news situation.

Bad news, in that as far as chiefs of police went, Gains had been one of the best. Fair, but not afraid to ruffle any feathers when he had to, and he didn't care what bird the feathers were on…DA's, detectives, or diplomats, the law was law and that was the only thing that mattered. Woody hated to see such a man leave the Boston PD. Gain would be impossible to imitate…difficult to duplicate. The men that served under Gains were fiercely loyal to their chief and made no bones about the way they felt.

Good news, at least as far as Woody was concerned, was that he was up for Gains' position. Woodrow Wilson Hoyt could be Boston's next chief of police. He had made a rapid rise through the ranks and had a drawer full of commendations. He was set and primed. And Gains had made no bones about the fact that as out going chief, he strongly desired that the next head of the Boston PD be pulled from the pool of high qualified candidates under him.

Woody was one of the three. The other two men were just as equally qualified on paper, but Woody knew that Gains and the committee hiring the new chief would look beyond a resume and letters of recommendation…scrutinize far more than medals and promotions. Their personal life would also be put under a microscope. If a man couldn't control his family, how could he control the Boston police force?

It may not be fair, it may be archaic, but that's the way it was. In some ways, the Boston police department had not changed beyond the all-male ranks of thinking it had started out with over a hundred years ago. And in a way it made sense. If you can't control a small group of people…how can you control masses of men, muscle, and ammunition?

The first candidate, Jim Cranwell, would almost unanimously be dismissed as too young, despite the fact that he had as many commendations as Woody. Thirty-one was a bit young to be the Boston PD's chief of police.

Tony Walker, the other candidate, was as equally qualified as Woody, but was several years senior of Woody's age. Gains had come in as chief in his late thirties, nearly the same age as Woody was now and established a long tenure as chief. That had added stability and pride to their force. Gains wanted the same thing when he left. Tony was in his mid-fifties, less than ten years until retirement.

So age seemed to be on Woody's side, along with his sterling record and rapid rise through the ranks. However, on the personal side, Tony had a big advantage. Tony had been married for years to the same woman, and had a tribe of kids…mostly honor students and athletes. Tony qualified for Father Knows Best and Husband of the Year awards. Tony was a Catholic family man…just like Gains.

And while Woody was Catholic enough not to divorce Jordan after she left, he had no family to speak of. Although Jordan and he were still legally married, they weren't together. Woody rubbed the back of his neck and wondered just how much…exactly…that would count against him when he was considered for the position he had coveted since he was a young boy back in Wisconsin. Chief of Police. His old man would have been so proud…

"Yo, Bro, got a minute?" came a voice from the doorway.

"Cal…" Woody gritted his teeth at the sound of his younger brother's voice. "What is it now?"

"Just wanted to know if you could take your favorite brother out to lunch…we haven't had much quality time lately…"

"You're broke again, aren't you?"

"Who me?"

"Yes, you."

Cal sat back in a chair and surveyed his perennially uptight brother, who was even more anal at the minute than normal. "What's up?" he finally asked, when Woody kept his back to him.

Wordlessly Woody handed him the copy of the letter that Gains had sent to all three candidates for police chief. Cal let out a low whistle. "Man, if Dad could only see you now. Congratulations. Think you'll get the job?"

"No." Woody nearly spat out the word.

"Why the hell not? You're just as qualified as either one of these guys…"

"Jim won't get it because he's too young. I won't get it because I don't fit the ideal picture of a police chief for Gains."

Cal gave him a puzzled look. "What? You're not handsome enough to be a Perre Ellis model?"

"No…no...no." Woody sighed again, sat down, and put his head in his hands. "Gains thinks that the chief should be a family man…wife, kids, white picket fence, dog in the backyard…type of guy. In his mind, if a man can deal with his family, he can control the police force…a family gives a man stability and support…things he needs to be a good chief."

"Oh."

"And even though I'm the same age Gains was when he became chief, with nearly the same credentials, I don't have a wife, much less a family."

"You mean your wife isn't in Boston any longer."

Woody nodded.

"And you really think…that during the year of our Lord two thousand and five AD…that this really matters to the hiring committee?"

"We both know who really runs that committee," Woody replied, looking his brother in the eyes. "Gains. And it matters to him."

Cal contemplated Woody's answer for a minute and ran his eyes over his brother. Woody hadn't been the same since Jordan left….an endless workaholic, not that he hadn't been one before…but her leaving had made it worse. He was terse and driven…and Cal couldn't remember the last time he had really seen Woody smile…unless it was the Christmas before Jordan left for New York. She had given Woody a train set that she found out he had wanted since he was a little boy. Woody had grinned for a week and Jordan had nearly cried over her husband's delight.

Woody missed her like hell, he just would never admit it. Call it Hoyt pride, or male stubbornness, Cal didn't know which. He just knew his brother was becoming an old man before his time without her.

And he'd bet a dollar to a donut hole Jordan wasn't fairing much better. She loved Woody…or she wouldn't have put up with him for so long and tried so hard.

_How two people can be so perfect for each other and screw it up, I'll never know,_ Cal thought. Then he smiled. "Well, I guess with all of this on your mind, lunch is out of the question?"

Woody gave him an eat-shit look.

"Oooookayyyy," Cal said, getting up and walking over to the door. "But here's an idea, Wood."

"What?'

"You could swallow that damned male pride of yours and ask her to come back."

"Need I remind you that she left me? She couldn't cope with being a policeman's wife."

_No, she couldn't cope with you working all the time and having no time for her…a woman like that needs her husband at home some nights, you stupid jackass._ "Well…if you talk to her…and can get her to feel guilty….that if you don't get the position it's all her fault for leaving you…maybe you could at least get her home until after a decision is made about the new chief."

Woody stared at his brother, dumbstruck. "You mean attempt to manipulate Jordan Cavanaugh to come home for _my _benefit?"

"Jordan Cavanaugh _Hoyt._ She's still my sister-in-law. And she might do it if she gets something out of her time spent back here with you."

"Like what?"

"I don't know…a divorce maybe…a monetary settlement…you know her better than I do. And guess what?"

"What?"

"You may discover that you've missed your wife. Bye, Woody. See you later." Cal left his brother's office and was heard whistling on his way down the hall to the elevators.

Miss her? Was Cal crazy? He had coped just fine without her, thank you very much. He had learned to sleep by himself again…do his own laundry again…microwave his own TV dinners again.

No, he was doing just fine by himself…without a wife to tie him down and hold him back.

But the thoughts of having her return were tempting. Woody shoved them from his mind. He would get the position on the merits of his achievements as a Boston policeman, and nothing else. That should be enough.

Even if the thoughts of seeing her again was causing cold chills to run up and down his spine.


	3. Please Come to Boston for the Springtime

**Chapter Three**

**Please Come to Boston for the Springtime**

Jordan pushed her hair back as she sat down at her desk in the classroom and shuffled through the last stack of finals she had to get graded before leaving for summer break. Thankfully, she didn't have to teach this summer, but only had to work part time at the New York medical examiner's office. She finally waded through the last paper and shoved them in her briefcase, getting up and making her way back to her office. She'd hand the finals off to her assistant to enter the grades in the computer and go home. She had planned a quiet summer for herself…some cleaning, take in a few Broadway shows, and spend a couple of weeks at her house at Cape Cod…the small vacation home her grandmother had left Jordan when the older woman passed away.

She was looking forward to seeing the Massachusetts coast again…far enough away from Boston that Woody wouldn't realize she was back in the state, but near enough Garret, Nigel, Bug, Lily, and Sydney that she could get together with her friends. She took the elevator to the third floor of the New York medical examiners building and handed Carol, her assistant, the tests. "Another semester over….thank God. I've got them graded, can you enter the grades in the computer for me, and we'll officially celebrate the beginning of summer?" Jordan grinned at the younger woman.

"Sure thing, Dr. Hoyt," Carol replied, returning her grin. "Here's your messages…and you have a visitor. A detective from Massachusetts. He's in your office now."

Jordan felt her heart leap to her throat. Telling herself to calm down…it could be anyone from Seely to Winslow to Cruz. They had had no contact since she walked out on him three years ago…why should he start now? She quickly walked down the hall and peered through her office door.

The width of his shoulders still took her breath away. It was Woody. Gathering all her courage, she opened the door. Hearing the noise, he awkwardly turned to her. "Hi," he greeted her.

He still was the same…same melt-your-knees blue eyes…same heart-stopping cologne…Still tall, still handsome….._and still your husband as far as you know_, her conscious reminded her sharply. The only things that had changed were a few more worry lines on his forehead – no doubt from too many hard cases and too many long hours. "Hi yourself," she replied, coming in and shutting the door behind her. If he had something to say to her, she didn't want the rest of the morgue hearing her business. "What brings you to New York?"

Woody silenced a grunt of frustration. Trust Jordan to get right down to business without the pleasantries. But in a way, that was good. It would make his job easier if they could treat this as a business transaction and nothing personal. "I need to talk to you…can we sit down and discuss a couple of issues?"

There was no way Jordan was going to let him tower over her…sitting or standing. "I'll stand if you don't mind. I've been sitting at a desk grading papers for the last two hours."

Woody nodded and propped himself on the side of her desk. "Nice morgue -- here as morgues go…" he noted.

"It is…it's a little more sophisticated than the Massachusetts' ones…we have more techno toys. Nigel would love it."

Woody nodded. "Do you miss Boston at all, Jordan?"

"The city or the people?"

"Both."

Jordan sighed and took off her jacket. "I miss the BoSox. I think I'm the only person in New York who doesn't root for the Yankees…which doesn't make me very popular."

Woody chuckled. He could imagine Jordan being the only person at a New York sports bar rooting for a team from Boston playing the Yankees.

"And I miss the people…Garret, Nigel, Bug….Lily…they were my family for years. Of course I miss them."

"Do you miss them enough to come back home?"

Jordan swallowed her startled reaction. She had assumed he had come here to discuss a divorce, if he didn't already have one. "Come home?" she questioned.

"Yeah…come back to Boston." Noting the confused look on her face, he took advantage of the situation and rushed ahead before she could have time to speak or think. "Come back, Jordan…please…I need you at home…as a favor to me."

Jordan narrowed her eyes. "A favor to you?"

Woody nodded. "I'm up for police chief."

Her eyes widened. "Congratulations Woody. If anyone deserves it, you do. You've put in the hours…clocked the experience. And it's a job you've always wanted. But I can't believe Gains is really retiring…and what has this got to do with me doing you a favor?"

Woody looked down at her desk and began toying with her pencil holder. "You know how Gains is, Jordan…a traditional, old-fashioned, Irish family man who believes that before a man can control a police department, he needs a family…at least a wife….to back him up and support him."

Her eyes widened more. "I can't believe…you're not asking me to…"

He got up from where he was sitting on the side of her desk and walked over to her, putting his hands on her arms. "Yeah, I am. I'm asking you to come back to Boston as my wife…until a decision is made about the police chief."

"You're joking, right?"

"No…I'm very serious. It would be under certain conditions of course."

She moved away from him. "And what conditions would that be?"

"It would be in name only…You or I one could take the guest room…we'd just have to function in every other way like a married couple. Just for a month or two….just until Gains and the committee make a decision."

"Woody…I have work here this summer…."

"It's only part time…at least that's what your assistant told me."

Jordan made a mental note to talk with Carol about divulging personal information. "Yeah, but it retains my job and income until I return to teaching in the fall."

"Surely you could work something out…and work back at the Massachusetts morgue again for a while…or not work at all…"

"Woody, I don't know. This all seems pretty deceptive…and I've had enough lies and falsehood propagated on me in the past that I don't want to be part of one…"

"Then do it because you owe me."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me. You owe me. You should have known when you left me three years ago that you put my career in jeopardy…that it could affect the one position I had wanted since I started out as a detective."

"That's not right…and it's not fair."

"And it's the only way you'll get a divorce from me."

"What?"

"You heard me. Come back…pretend to be my wife again for two or three months…and I'll give you a quickie, no-fault divorce with a settlement large enough to cover what income you don't make this summer from not working at the morgue here part time."

His words made her blood run cold. Divorce. Even though she had known it was an option, she had somehow figured that it was so far out in left field that Woody would never catch it. Not them. Not divorced.

Not when she still loved him.

She had hoped the time apart would allow him time to slow down and maybe think about them, their marriage…Obviously it didn't. He had just worked more, racking up more promotions to the point where his ultimate goal…chief of police…was at his finger tips. Would she be the one to keep him from obtaining it? Would she be the only obstacle in his path to keep him from becoming Boston's next chief of police?

Taking a deep breath, she said, "Let me think about it. I'll let you know tomorrow."

* * *

_Pretend to be my wife again for two or three months…two or three months…and I'll give you a quickie, no-fault divorce with a settlement large enough to cover what income you don't make this summer from not working at the morgue here part time…"_

"_Do it because you owe me…"_

Woody's words had rang in her mind the rest of the afternoon and all evening, causing sleep to elude her as she considered her options. Giving up on any rest for the night, she finally got out of bed, going over to a window and staring sightlessly out at the city.

Jordan had known when she left Woody that his world would be set on its head in many forms…she was no longer there to pick up the dry cleaning, make dinner, be his "arm trophy" at police functions…She knew it was a bad reflection on him in many ways…that he couldn't balance a home life and a work life…or that possibly he had bored his wife to tears.

She had been many things in their marriage, but bored wasn't one of them. Frustrated was the one that came to mind the most…frustrated at their lack of time together…frustrated that he_ wouldn't_ spend more time with her…but after his first big promotion at work, it just seemed potato chips to Woody…he couldn't stop with just one. There was another and another in quick succession to the point where he was single mindedly pursuing his career, taking for granted that she would always be there, applauding him on in the background…being content with that.

Jordan loved him then. She did now. She just wasn't woman enough to share her husband with a mistress that she couldn't possibly compete with – the Boston PD.

So, she had admitted defeat…and moved to New York.

However, Woody had given her a chance to try again…as misguided as his offer was. She could return to Boston and give their marriage one more shot, even if it was under the guise of "owing" him a favor….or she could remain in New York and always wonder what could have happened. She could put her heart and soul into letting him know how she really felt for three months…or never being able to look herself in the mirror again, knowing she never really gave it one last try.

Jordan knew her options. There really was no decision to make.

She was going back to Boston.


	4. When Did You Stop Loving Me?

**Chapter Four**

**When Did You Stop Loving Me?**

Jordan smiled over the rim of her wine glass as Woody re-introduced her to yet another one of his police co-workers. It was Friday…it was after five…and it was the typical time that the Boston PD police got together. She had promised him she would be here…and she kept her word. She was waiting for him when Woody showed up at O'Mally's.

"Nice to have you back in Boston, Mrs. Hoyt," said the burly cop.

"Thank you…it's good to be back…and please…it's Jordan." The man smiled his thanks and ambled off to talk to another cluster of detectives and rookies.

Woody glanced down at the woman beside him. To tell the truth, he didn't think he would take him up on his request to return to Boston. When Jordan had met him for breakfast the next morning, she said for him to give her a few days to work out the details, but she would come home and stay for as long as she needed to. He has swallowed his amazement with this early morning coffee and took her extended hand as a token of her promise. Then he flew out of New York without her.

He halfway didn't expect to hear from her…either that, or she would call him and tell him she had changed her mind. She did call the next day, but it was to tell him to pick her up from Logan at four. She had conned her way out of working at the New York morgue this summer…saying she had a family emergency and that she would add another class to her already crowded schedule for the fall.

Woody had watched for her anxiously to come down the ramp and was relieved to see her. They had collected her numerous bags and drove home. He promised to get her a rental car for the summer…and then helped her get her things upstairs, pausing on the landing. "Which bedroom do you want, Jordan? The master or the guest?"

The fleeting thought ran through her head that this was an odd conversation to be having with her husband…but Woody was living up to his word. This would be in name only. "Since you probably already have your things set up in the master, I'll take the guest."

"No…you can have the master bedroom…"

She laid a gentle hand on his arm. "No. This is your home…and your bedroom. I'll take the guest room. It's only for a few weeks, right?"

"Right," Woody replied.

"And I'll use the hall bathroom. I remember how upset you used to get with my makeup and things spread out all over the place…in your way."

Woody nodded, taking her suitcases into the guest room. Jordan followed, glancing to her right before entering the guest room. The door that led to the nursery remained shut. They had just begun to buy baby furniture and decorate the room when she had miscarried. After she got home from the hospital, Woody had shut the door…abstemiously to avoid reminding her of the baby…the baby they never talked about…Jordan had never reopened the room. She doubted Woody had, either.

"Jordan?" Woody called from inside the bedroom. "Is something wrong?"

"No…sorry… just trying to remember where everything is."

"I haven't changed hardly anything since…since…"

"Since I left."

"Yeah." They both looked at each other for a wordless minute. "I don't want to make this hard on you," Woody said. "I really don't. I just need your help and I appreciate you doing this for me. And I'll make sure I make it up to you…All I need is for you to pretend to be my wife for the next few weeks. I don't expect you to cook my meals, do my laundry, sit up and wait for me to come in, or anything else that normal couples do. Just be my wife in public…act like we're in love again and are getting back together. Can you do that?"

Jordan nodded. So those were the rules. Be his wife in public and nothing in private. Those were the dividing lines in their relationship. Sucking in a deep breath to steady her nerves now, and praying there was still some Scotch in the cabinet over the stove to steady them later, she replied: "Yes. Of course."

"Good," he said as he went back down the stairs. "Unpack and…and…well…make yourself at home."

And her first "assignment" had been this get together at O'Mally's. To Woody's relief, Jordan was behaving like a pro. "There's Gains. Let's go talk to him." Wood took her hand and led her over to the outgoing police chief. "Chief Gains?"

"Hoyt…good to see you again. How's it going?" the older man said, patting Woody on the back and shaking his hand at the same time.

"You remember my wife, Jordan?"

"Mrs. Hoyt…so glad you're back in Boston. Are you staying this time?" Gains looked at Jordan, the point of his question coming out fully in his pale, cold gaze.

Jordan swallowed hard and prayed she had on her best poker face. "Yes, sir," she replied quietly. "And please…call me Jordan."

"Are you going back to the morgue to work? We've sorely missed your skills as an ME there."

"Uh…I don't know, sir…I haven't given it much thought yet."

"What she means is that we're working on our relationship right now," Woody replied smoothly. "We haven't really thought much about it…our marriage is taking first priority."

"Good…good…wonderful news. You know the next chief of police needs all the support he can get…in the ranks of the officers and in the ranks of his home life." He nudged Woody with his elbow.

Jordan looked at Woody, not quite sure of what to say. Woody covered for her. "Thankfully, I have it in both places." Jordan nodded, her mouth dry now, and not just from the white wine she was drinking. They turned away and talked to several more officers, then Woody helped her with her jacket and walked out the door with her, his arm around her waist, escorting her to her car and helping her in. "Woody?" she asked, before he shut the door and turned away.

"What, Jordan?"

"I am thinking about asking Garret if maybe I can work part time at the morgue this summer…while I'm here. He has always needed someone extra this time of year because of folks taking vacations. If I don't at least do a little something, I'm going to go crazy having so much time on my hands."

Woody rubbed his chin. "Sure…if that's what you want to do. If I was a betting man, I'd wager you'd be over there anyway…so go ahead and see what Garret says." He flashed her a grin. "And be careful going home."

She smiled back…for the first time since she had been back in Boston. "You do the same."

* * *

"What the hell are you doing here?" Garret asked, startled by her slim form propped against the wall of the Boston morgue.

"Good morning to you, too," she teased, allowing herself to get caught up in his embrace. "Right now, I've been propping up the wall for the last half hour waiting on you to show up. What happened? You used to be here by this time every morning."

Garret chuckled. "It's Monday…cut me some slack. But that brings me back to my question, Jordan. What the hell _are_ you doing here?"

Jordan followed him into his office, shut the door and sat on the side of his desk, facing her former boss. "Would you believe trying to reconcile with Woody?"

Garret let out a biting chuckle. "Yeah…right."

She held his gaze for a minute and then began twirling his stapler around on his desk with her index finger. "I'm serious."

"You can't be…not after the way you two split up."

"Passion is a strange thing, Garret."

"Passion is one thing…common sense is another. You left because Woody became a workaholic and totally ignored you. You did everything you could…he wouldn't respond…so you hauled ass to New York."

"Well, I'm here now."

"And I'm glad your back…but why?'

Jordan sighed. "Can you keep a secret?" Garret nodded. "I mean really keep a secret?"

"Jordan, you know I can. What's up?"

"Woody's up for Gains' position. I'm back to help hedge his odds."

"Beg your pardon?"

"Gains is retiring…Woody is one of the three men being considered for the position. But Gains thinks the chief needs the support and stability of a family…or at least a wife…in order to be truly successful at their job."

"That's sort of a Neanderthal way of thinking."

"I agree…but Gains is old-fashioned…"

"And Woody wants the position. How did he talk you into coming back?"

"He said…I owe him."

"He said _that_?"

Jordan nodded. "And in a way, I guess I do." She got up and walked over to the window. "I mean, when I left Boston, I knew that this may come up as an obstacle at some point…"

"But because you left him due to the fact that_ he_ was acting like an ass,_ you_ feel responsible for _his_ future….while _yours_ remains in limbo?"

"Yeah…sort of….I guess."

Garret sighed. "I'm no one to talk…God knows…but a marriage takes two…and you were doing most of the giving."

"I love him."

"Present tense?"

She nodded, unable to meet Garret's gaze.

"So that's the real reason you're here," he said softly, coming up behind her. "Be careful, Jordan." He put his hands on her shoulders and turned her to him, holding her close. "I hated like hell to see you leave Boston. Hated it with everything in me…you were leaving the only family you really had…Max was in Virginia…but I understood you were doing what you had to do to survive. You couldn't stay here…not loving him the way you did and no longer being important to him. I prayed you'd go to New York City, find a job you loved as much as the one you loved here…with friends like you had in Boston…and maybe even someone you cared for half as much as you did Woody. It didn't happen, did it?"

She shook her head. "I liked my job okay…"

"But…"

"I'm miserable…"

"So you came back to give it one more try?" He felt her nod against his shoulder. "Anything I can do to help?"

"Could I have a part-time job this summer while I'm here?" she pulled back and looked at Garret.

He grinned and nodded.

* * *

She left the morgue and aimlessly drove around Boston for a while…not quite ready to go home to an empty house…with so many memories. She found herself back at what used to be the Pogue…the name long since changed since it was sold years ago. She pushed the door open and found a place at the bar, asking for a beer. Not a whole lot had changed….warm memories flooded her mind as she remembered when she and Woody had first met. Drinks together after work…celebrating the outcome of the Montgomery case…dancing….the Sickboy23 case and her red dress.

Him helping her close up some nights…and sneaking kisses behind the counter. Had that really been nearly seven years ago? She sighed, paid for her beer and left. Yeah… it had been that long.

She didn't get home until after Woody got in from work. "Where have you been?" he asked casually, not letting her hear the fear that had been in his voice when he had pulled up in the drive way and her car wasn't there. He was nearly sure she had fled back to New York.

"Just…getting reacquainted with the city."

"Did you talk to Macy today?"

"Yeah."

"And?"

She pulled another beer out of the refrigerator and uncapped it. "He's giving me a part time job this summer." She took a long drink and looked at Woody, who was also retrieving a beer.

"Seems like old times then, doesn't it?" he asked, avoiding her eyes.

_Just like old times…you in your corner of the world and me in mine…never talking to each other…always working…when did you stop loving me, Woody? _She thought.

"Yeah. Just like old times," she replied in a soft voice.


	5. Regret and Reasons

**Chapter Four**

**Regret and Reasons**

And so the weeks clicked by. Jordan marked off each day on the calendar in her pocketbook. The first two weeks were unremarkable…almost the same as their life was before she had fled to New York. She worked. Woody worked. They came home at different times, occasionally went out as a couple, and spent their nights in separate bedrooms in separate beds.

Nothing changed. And Jordan was frustrated because any headway she was trying to make into re-establishing a relationship with Woody…letting him know how she felt…was running headfirst into a dead end wall. Woody was better than his word. He expected nothing…nothing more from her than just the occasional pubic appearance as his wife.

It was definitely like old times.

Until Woody called her at the morgue one day. "Are you busy Saturday night?' he asked.

"Gee…let me check my hectic social schedule," she deadpanned into the phone.

"Jordan…I'm serious."

"And Woody, I'm kidding. Lighten up. What's the matter with you…they take your sense of humor with one of your promotions?"

There was a long silence following her last quip. Then she heard him sigh and respond with a note in his voice she hadn't heard in a long time…was that regret she heard when he said, "Sorry….it's just been a long time since we've joked with each other."?

"My bad," she nearly whispered. Then clearing her throat, "I'm free. What do you need me to do?"

"Chief Gains would like you and I to have dinner with him and his wife at the Grange Country Club Saturday night at seven."

"Sure…I'll need to get a new dress…I don't think I brought anything that fancy." In reality, she no longer owned anything that nice. She had given her good dresses to Goodwill after she arrived in New York, assuming she'd never use them again.

"Fine…I'll walk my credit card over at lunch. Get whatever you need."

"Nope. I've got it, Farm Boy."

He took a sharp breath. Farm Boy. It had been years since she called him that.

* * *

Woody nervously waited for Jordan in their living room Saturday evening. He told her that they needed to leave by six-thirty. She said she'd be down. He eyed his wristwatch again. It was only six-fifteen. She was taking her time. He anxiously pulled at his collar and readjusted his tie in the mirror.

Having Jordan back was a little like living in a time warp. He had forgotten how the house smelled in the morning with her home…her bath soap…her perfume…The first time he had walked into the laundry room after she returned and found her delicate, feminine things drying there, he did a double take. She still wore scraps of lace under her clothes. He had swallowed hard and backed out. She was definitely back in his house, even if she wasn't in his bed.

She was doing a wonderful job pretending to his be wife…no slip-ups. She had convinced the men he worked with and the hiring committee that they were working through their differences. It was now becoming natural to feel her small hand slip into his when they were in public. It was now his automatic reaction to close his larger hand around it protectively….nearly possessively. She would seldom leave his side…his arm would find is way around her waist. He hadn't forgotten how slender she was…but he had nearly forgotten how it felt to have her in his arms. Nearly.

When she had run away to New York, he had felt deserted. Totally alone. She had begged and pleaded for more time with him.

And it wasn't that he didn't want to respond to that…and to say he didn't know how would by lying…Maybe it was that he just didn't feel like he _could._ After the miscarriage, he just didn't feel like he was what she needed as a husband – like he had failed her in some indefinable way.

A baby. The pregnancy was a surprise…but Woody had welcomed it. He had wanted a family of his own for as long as he could remember. He always assumed when he was with Annie, he would father a houseful. He knew with Jordan, it would be different…she was older, and more career oriented. One child, maybe two, would probably be it. But that had been fine with him. His first promotion came shortly before she had found out she was pregnant.

Then that awful morning came soon after when he had woken up to bloody sheets and his wife doubled over in cramps.

Something in him had shifted from that point on. While he still loved his wife, the hollow look in her eyes for months after that painfully reminded him that if she got pregnant again, this could happen a second time. He didn't think he could bear it. He couldn't do that to Jordan again…she had already lost too much in her lifetime. And no form of birth control was fool proof.

So he began to work more hours….keeping her at bay…so he wouldn't have to try to look her in the eyes and make excuses for why he was too tired to make love to his wife. Then a second promotion came. If he couldn't do anything else, he could make sure she was well-taken care of monetarily, even if he couldn't make sure everything else in her life was perfect.

And he still could do this. He glanced down at his watch again. Six twenty-five. A slight noise behind him made him turn. Jordan descended the stairs in a red dress…It had a demure neckline in the front, but was cut low in the back…it fell straight down her slim form and was slit up one side. Her hair was piled on top of head with wisps coming down around her ears and playing on the back of her neck. Woody swallowed hard. She was in a word….gorgeous.

"Do I look all right?" she asked, slowly turning around in front of him.

His mouth was still as dry as that California desert from so long ago. He peeled his tongue off the roof of his mouth. "You look wonderful."

"Thanks." She picked up her purse and headed for the door, leaving him to follow in a wake of sensuous thoughts and her perfume.


	6. Kitchen Encounters

**Chapter Five**

**Kitchen Encounters**

Woody glanced over at Jordan on the way home. The evening had been flawless. Gains and his wife had enjoyed the company of Woody and his wife and Jordan gave a convincing act that she had come home to re-establish their relationship. Woody had even got to dance with her one more time.

But now she was sound asleep, in the seat next to him…_it must be exhausting for to keep pretending like this…I know it is for me._ She sighed in her sleep and snuggled down closer in her seat. Woody grinned to himself. She was out. He pulled the car into the garage and cut off the engine. He got out on his side and walked over to hers. Opening the door, he bent down and unbuckled her seatbelt. She stirred then and opened her eyes…to find herself staring directly into his blue ones. "Wake up, sleepyhead…we're home," he said. He helped her from the car.

"I must have been out like a light," she joked, regaining her balance. "Please tell me I didn't have _that_ much to drink in front of Gains."

Woody chuckled out loud then. "No…I have a feeling it's just exhaustion from this situation."

Jordan nodded. "Sometimes it's difficult," she said, entering the house and taking her shoes off at the door.

"Difficult as in acting married again, or difficult as in remembering how it used to be?" Woody asked in a low voice.

Jordan paused at the foot of the stairs, shoes dangling by one finger…her back to him…his comment and tone of voice hitting at the base of spine and causing cold chills to run up it. Without turning around, she whispered, "Both. Good night, Woody." She climbed the stairs, changed into her nightgown, and got into bed.

And proceeded to toss and turn for the next several hours….thinking about what Woody said…thinking about how good it was after they first got married….and how that was making what she had to do now so very, very difficult.

She still loved her husband. That fact had not changed. It never would. She wanted so much to have the opportunity to turn her "act" into reality. But Woody never gave her the chance. As soon as they were out of sight of the public crowd, his arm would drop from her waist, or he would pull his hand away…he remained polite, cordial, but always distant.

And who could blame him? She left _him_…even if her reasons for leaving were justified. It seemed Woody had stopped loving her…he hadn't touched her for months before she left and was working a God-awful amount of hours. She felt hot tears beneath her lids as the fact sunk home that _he didn't love her_. At least not anymore.

She wiped her tears away and rolled over, determined to get a few hours of sleep before she had to go to the morgue tomorrow. Thank God for Garret….and her job. She'd go nuts if it weren't for both of them…then another feeling brought her attention closer to home.

Her stomach growled. Loudly. Jordan was hungry…she never ate much at these public functions with Woody…more like pushed the food around on her plate. She was always so stressed out that she would slip up….make an irretrievable mistake that would doom Woody's chance at being the next police chief that her stomach would tie itself in knots to the point where it hurt to eat.

And tonight had been no exception. If anything, dinner with Gains had at least doubled her stress level to the point she barely ate a mouthful. She finally threw back the covers, grabbed her thin robe and tiptoed down the stairs. Woody's bedroom light was off and it was quiet. He was asleep.

She found her way into the kitchen, made herself a peanut butter sandwich, then reached into the cabinet for glass…milk was the only thing Jordan would drink with a peanut butter sandwich…when she accidentally knocked the glass off the shelf. Cursing at her clumsiness, she bent over and began cleaning up her mess.

Upstairs, all Woody heard was glass breaking. Swearing at the fact he had never had a burglar alarm system put in, he reached beside the bed to the night stand and grabbed his service revolver and slid on his boxers….stealthily he made his way downstairs…nothing in the hall…nothing in the living room…but the light in the kitchen caught his eyes immediately. "What the hell are you doing up?" he asked Jordan, laying his weapon on the counter. "Don't you know you could have gotten yourself killed?"

"I was hungry…I came downstairs to get something to eat," she said, still kneeling, cleaning up the final remnants of her mess. Suddenly she hissed and put her fingers in her mouth…the fine fragments of the broken glass had cut her fingertips.

"Now let me see what you've done," Woody said, coming over and kneeling beside her, taking her hand out of her mouth so he could examine her fingers. "Not too bad... Come here." He helped her to her feet and over to the sink, turning on the tap and allowing the cold water to run over her skin and rinse away the remaining microscopic fragments. He lightly ran his hands over her fingers and hands, making sure they were glass free. When he was certain of this, he turned the water off, grabbed a dishtowel and dried her hands.

Jordan wondered if he was aware what his touch was doing to her…the tiny flickers of heat his touched caused…or that warming sense in the pit of her stomach. Garret's warning flickered through her thoughts, _be careful, Jordan._ He threw the dishtowel down and looked at her fingers one more time.

"I think you're fine," he said, looking into her eyes and pausing…her hair was a tangled mass of chestnut curls…and she had on one of those white silky nighties he could never have resisted before…scraps of satin and lace…and her eyes were dark…like rich chocolate. _Oh damn_…he scrambled to get control of his lower regions when he realized they were standing a lot closer than he had realized. "Very…very…fine," his voice lowered to a whisper, when without a coherent thought he pulled her to him and kissed her.

_What the hell am I doing_? He asked himself a few seconds into the kiss…and then as more seconds passed, he really didn't care….it was a moot point. Jordan was kissing him back….opening her mouth and tangling her fingers in the hair at the back of his head. _You're doing what you've wanted to do since the minute you laid eyes on her again in New York…you're loving your wife…and is anything so wrong with that?_

No. There wasn't. As a matter of fact, he couldn't think of a damn thing wrong with it. He skated his tongue gently beside and over hers…and felt the passion rise in her kiss. His hands moved down her sides and untied the sash on her robe, spread it wide, then slid his hands inside and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer than before. It briefly registered in his sexually heat-filled mind that she didn't protest, but pulled him nearer. He deepened his kiss again. She moaned against his lips.

She couldn't breathe except through his kiss…and she wasn't aware of anything … anyone but him. So when he ran his hands beneath her bottom and lifted her onto the counter, she was barely aware of his actions…not even when he pressed her thighs open and stood between her legs….kissing the side of her neck, pushing her gown aside to lay quick, soft kisses along her shoulder, then reclaiming her lips, while his hands found their way to her breasts, gently caressing them until he heard her catch her breath and moan again. Deftly, the tiny buttons on her gown came undone and his hands found their way inside. Her legs automatically wrapped around his waist.

Woody didn't know which one of them was more lost in the moment. If he had to place a wager on the odds, it was Jordan. She wasn't even aware that she had murmured his name…or that she loved him.

It was that statement that stopped him cold. _I love you, Woody…I've never stopped…please…._What had he done? Started something he couldn't finish … but wanted to so badly he ached? He began to slow down his caresses…lighten his kisses…until he felt her legs release him. Slowly and gently he buttoned her gown back up and pulled her robe shut. And felt his heart break just a little when he heard her whisper "No…" He stepped away from her and carefully lifted her down from the counter, holding her close until both of their hearts stopped beating so hard.

"Why?" she asked, confusion in her eyes and passion still evident in her face.

"Because…in a few weeks, you'll be going back to New York…and I'll be in Boston."

"But…"

"There are no but's, Jordan," he replied softly, stroking her cheek to try to take the bite out of his words. "This…between us…can't happen again. It's for your own good."

"My own good?"

"Believe me…it is…now go upstairs…and get in _your_ bed…and go to sleep."

"But…"

"Jordan. Go. Now." His voice carried a more desperate edge to it than he wanted. If she remained in that kitchen another minute, he knew what he would do…clear the table with one sweep of his arm and take her on it.

And possibly impregnate her again…God knows, he had nothing in the house to try to prevent it…he hadn't in years. She looked up at him again…"Woody…" Damn the beseeching tone in her voice.

"Go." He put all the force behind that one word he could muster and watched as she nearly ran out of the kitchen and up the stairs.

It was another good five minutes before his southern parts would allow him the same movement.


	7. Let Brotherly Love Continue

**Chapter Six**

**Let Brotherly Love Continue**

"So how's it going, bro?" Calvin asked, warily sticking his head in Woody's office two days later. "Any word on when you ascend into the highest echelon of police work?"

"Good afternoon, Cal," Woody bit out between gritted teeth. Cal was his only brother, but they were as different as day is from night. Where as Woody was responsible, hard-working, dedicated…to the point of almost single-mindedness, Cal was irresponsible, somewhat of a slacker, and had his interests blown in a thousand different directions. Woody had practically raised Cal after their parents' death, and still acted more like a parent than a brother, despite the fact that Cal had been grown for years…and responsible for his own actions.

"Gee…I thought you'd be in a better mood now that your lovely wife was back at home." Cal came in, shut the door and plopped down in a chair in front of Woody's desk.

"I told you this situation was only temporary. As soon as a decision about the chief's position is made, she'll be back in New York." Woody responded smoothly, in a low tone.

"Yeah, and I thought you'd come to your senses and tell her you were sorry for being a jerk and ask her to stay…permanently."

"May I remind you that _she_ left _me_."

"And may I remind you that _she had a valid reason_. You had to play cops and robbers all the time….leaving a very lonely ME at home. She did it to get your attention."

"Well…it didn't work."

Cal toyed with Woody's nameplate on the desk. His fidgeting was making Woody nervous and Cal knew it. It was the mood he was going for. "You know…that stubborn pride of yours is going to get you in trouble. You're going to lose her for good one day…and then you will regret it."

Woody blew out a sigh and ran his hand through his hair. "And what do you want today, Cal? Money? A call to get you out of trouble?"

Standing up and looking his brother in the eye, Cal replied. "No. Believe it or not, I actually came by just to see how you were doing. I was hoping you and Jordan had both come to your senses and decided to really reconcile. Any fool with at least one good eye can see you two are meant for each other. Look, I don't know everything that happened between you two…"

"That's right, you don't," Woody interjected, trying to cut his brother off. It didn't work.

"But I know somewhere down in that heart of yours _you still love your wife_."

"Really?"

"Yes, really. Otherwise, you still wouldn't keep her picture on your desk," Cal said, pointing to a photo of Jordan under the glass on top of his desk, "and you would at least be going out some by now. Unless you're working, I can't blast you out of that house to do anything other than occasionally go get a drink or watch a BoSox game. Any women you are introduced to, you blow off like steam."

"I'm still married, Cal. Despite the fact that she 's in New York and I'm here, I'm still a married man."

"And why is that? It's been three years."

"It's none of your business."

Cal sighed and ran a hand through his hair, a near mirror of his older brother. "I give up. Look, if being police chief makes you happy, go for it. I hope you get it and have a long and successful career as Boston's top cop. Just _don't hurt Jordan in the process_. And you may want to think about not hurting yourself, either." Cal got up and walked to the door.

"Where are you going?" asked Woody.

"Seems my only sister-in-law, whom I am very fond of, works next door. I think I'll go see if she wants to go to lunch."

"Cal…" But it was too late. The door slammed and Cal was gone.

Woody sat down heavily in his chair and rubbed his hand over his face…as if trying to clear out the cobwebs of thought left by the pervious conversation. In many ways, Cal had been dead-on. He did still love his wife. That was why Jordan's wedding picture still stared out at him from under the piles of paperwork on top of his desk…why a copy of the same photo was in his wallet…

Why he had never filed for divorce.

After the miscarriage, things had gotten such a muddled mess. They both had retreated to their own emotional corners afraid to touch each other. Jordan had shed her own ocean of tears over the loss of the baby…and he had no idea how to comfort her this time…not when he felt like it was his fault. He had retreated into his own cold, hard shell, trying to push those feelings away, and provide for her in the only other way he knew how…monetarily. With each promotion came a raise. She could afford to work part time …take some time off for herself to get over her grief.

But with each new job position, came added responsibility. Woody found that the price of each fatter paycheck was even more hour spent at the precinct. He knew what had happened….

Jordan thought that he stopped caring about her as a woman and turned from him….left to go see what else was out there in the world for her.

He understood…and realized that part was his own fault, but still his male pride had taken a hit. _She left me_. No discussion….no warning. He came home one day and she was gone. Just a note that said _I hope you'll be happy with your life…I'm going to try to make a life for me, too…_

It had surprised him that she agreed to come back to Boston and put up with this charade. Until the other night in the kitchen. _I love you, Woody. I never stopped. Please…_She would never know how hard it was for him to send her up stairs to her bedroom then. But that had been the best decision for the both of them, no matter how soft her skin was under his fingers…how wonderful she smelled…how sweet her kisses were…To have taken it any further…made love to his wife the way he wanted to … would have complicated matters emotionally.

Woody sighed. No, it was probably better that things were left the way they were. She'd be going back to New York in a few weeks. He didn't want her taking anymore of his heart with her than she already had

* * *

"Hey gorgeous."

Jordan looked up from her paperwork. "Calvin Hoyt," she exclaimed, coming out from around her desk to hug her brother-in-law.

Calvin swung her around in a tight hug. "How have you been, Jordan?"

"Good…it's good to be back in Boston." She led him over to the couch in her office and they sat down facing each other.

"So you missed your hometown…."

"Yeah, I did. Not that New York isn't a happenin' place to live…but there's no place like home, you know?"

"Whatever you say…never can say I felt that way about Kewuanne, though."

"Kewuanne is a whole different issue…."

Calvin laughed, knowing Jordan's feelings about their tiny hometown. She was definitely a big-city girl. The only time Woody had taken her to Kewuanne, Jordan had said she felt like she was at a crossroads of Mayberry meets The Shining.

"So….how's my brother?"

"You would know better than I do."

"He still works all the time, doesn't he?"

Jordan lowered her eyes. Of the two brothers, Cal was often the most perceptive. She had always been sort of surprised that he didn't follow Woody into police work. He would have made an excellent detective. She had always assumed it was due to the fact that Cal always had been in just enough trouble to permanently set Woody's teeth on edge….and the fact that Cal probably didn't want to keep being compared to Woody…Police work would have put him back in that cycle of comparison. She carefully couched her next answers. "Yeah, he does…but he's having to right now…being up for police chief has its own set of standards."

Cal nodded. "Including Gains preference for family men…even if it's not real."

Jordan took a deep breath. "You know, don't you?"

Cal hesitated. "Yeah. I do." He didn't tell her he was the one that had suggested that Woody try to get her back to Boston for less-than-scrupulous reasons.

Jordan bit her lip. "This is probably the hardest thing I've ever done, Cal."

"Pretending to be his loving wife?"

She nodded. Her skin still throbbed when she remembered the other night in the kitchen…they had come so close, then he turned her away again. She had run upstairs, shut her bedroom door, and cried the rest of the night.

"You could give up the charade and go back to New York. I'm sure there's a plane out of Logan tonight…or I could drive you tomorrow. I have business there at the end of the week." Jordan raised an eyebrow. "And it's legal business, sis. Don't worry." He flashed her a smile reminiscent of Woody's…dimples and all.

"No…I promised Woody I'd stay until they announced a new chief….not that the offer isn't tempting, believe me. But, I'll keep my promise to him."

Cal nodded and stood, taking her with him. "Whatever you want to do. Just….if it gets to be too much, call me. I'll talk you down off the ledge. Now…how about some lunch?"


	8. Too Little Too Late

**Chapter Eight**

**Too Little Too Late?**

It was nearly time for the hiring committee to make a decision. Gains had announced the city of Boston would have their next chief of police by the end of the week. And tonight was Thursday.

Jordan sighed and pushed her hair back out of her eyes as she sat at her desk finishing her paperwork. In a few days, it looked like she would be heading back to New York, but not to stay. Now that she had returned to Boston, and renewed old acquaintances, she found she was loathe to leave again. She realized just what her morgue family meant to her…She had spoken to Garret. If for some reason, Woody didn't make chief of police, she was going to remain in Boston. If he did, to avoid any embarrassment for her husband, she would relocate to right outside of Boston…maybe Cambridge or Springfield…somewhere far enough that Woody wouldn't be bothered by her presence, but near enough Garret, Nigel, Bug, and Lily that she could see them regularly. And unbeknownst to Woody, she had already faxed her resignation to the New York morgue. All that remained was for Gains and the committee to announce their decision and for her to go back to her New York apartment and pack up her few belongings.

She was so lost in thought, she didn't hear a knock at her door. "Hi," a voice said. It was Woody.

"Hi yourself," she replied, giving him a crooked grin. "What brings you to this end of the woods? A case?"

"No." He shook his head. "I just wanted to stop by and thank you one more time for coming back to Boston for me. I just got word that Jim is definitely out of the running for the chief's job. That means it's between me and Tony."

"Then you'll get it. Tony's almost too close to retirement to be considered."

He shook his head again. "I don't know. But regardless, I did want to thank you. Could I take you out to dinner tonight as a token of my appreciation? Somewhere really nice?"

"Just us?"

"Yeah…just us."

Jordan thought about being alone with her husband again…just the two of them. They had gotten along well…polite…courteous…but sometimes when Woody looked at her, she could feel the underlying passion that was still there…they had reignited it that night in the kitchen and it had been slowly smoldering ever since. She knew it.

And he did, too. She could tell by looking at him when he was looking at her._ But it could be now or never_, she contemplated. "Okay, where and what time?"

"Rigianno's. Seven?"

She nodded. "I'll be ready.

* * *

The evening was … different. There was no one there they had to impress…it was just Woody and Jordan. The food was excellent…as was the wine…Riagianno's wasn't a fancy place, not like the Grange was. She and Woody had never really ever been comfortable at places like that. Woody said if the eating joint had more than two forks, it required too much thinking and you couldn't enjoy your time there.

Riagianno's feel somewhere in between elite and casual. She put her hair up and wore a short, black dress with black hose and heels…something she hoped would be softly seductive. To her dismay, Woody didn't seem to notice. He kept the conversation light…but his cell phone remained turned off. A fact she was grateful for.

"How much do you think your life will change once you make chief?" she asked after the salad but before the entrée arrived.

Woody wrinkled his forehead. "In some ways a lot. Instead of having a division of men and women under me, I'll have all of them. It's a lot of responsibility. But in other ways my life won't change a whole lot. I'm already used to the hours."

"Something Tony isn't."

Woody nodded. "That's true. I work twice as many hours as he does."

"That's why I think Gains will give you the position. You're used to the demands. That, and you're qualified as hell."

Woody looked down at the table for a minute. "Thanks. I appreciate your vote of confidence. Although it's almost too little too late."

Jordan nearly choked on her water. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, where was that confidence in me three years ago when I was busting my ass then?"

Jordan took a shaky breath. This is not the way she meant the evening to go, or she would have never agreed to come. "I had all the confidence in the world in you, Wood," she replied softly, seeking some sort of understanding in his blue eyes, "you just stopped having time for me."

"I was working for you…for us…so we could have the means to do whatever we wanted…after the…the…"

"Miscarriage? Yeah, I can say the word now…without breaking down." _When had he stopped wanting children and decided things were more important? I missed that one…_

She wondered what else she had missed. "I'm sorry if you thought all I wanted was things…money…after we lost the baby. I admit, it took me a long time to deal with the loss. But if you thought 'means' was what I was looking for back then, you were wrong. It was you…only you were never home."

"So you took off to New York to make things better?"

"I took off to New York to try to get your attention." They were interrupted by the waiter who brought their food. Woody ate…Jordan pushed her food around on her plate, taking only an occasional bite. Her appetite had been forfeited by their argument. They finished their meal in silence.

And the drive back home was just as quiet. _Too little, too late; too little, too late_The words kept ringing through her mind all the way home…as they pulled into the garage and she let herself in the house…Woody following her. He went to check his messages downstairs…while she headed up to change out of her unsuccessfully seductive dress. She pulled it off her and hung it up. Then clad in only her bra and panties, donned her robe and began to take down her hair and brush it out.

A soft rap at her door caused her to turn around. "I'm sorry," he said. "What I said to you earlier was uncalled for. I apologize."

Jordan threw her brush down on the dresser. "What are you apologizing for? The way you felt? You can't apologize for feeling the way you do about me anymore than I can apologize for the reasons I left you to go to New York. They're both valid."

"Valid?"

She nodded in response.

"Tell me…what is so damn valid about my wife being in New York and me being here? Alone?"

"All you did was work…it seemed that was all you wanted …. You didn't want me. Hell, Woody…do you know how long it had been since we made love_ before_ I left? How was I supposed to feel?"

"Grateful," he said forcefully. "At least you wouldn't risk getting pregnant and miscarrying again…did you ever stop to think how hard it was for me _not_ to make love to you?"

So that was part of it. Her head was still reeling from his admission when he pulled her to him and kissed her…as if he was making up for more than just that lost night in the kitchen…this time it was as if he was making up for the time they had lost over three years ago.

And she didn't fight it. She let him …his tongue and teeth dueling with her bottom lip so that she would open her mouth…which she did willingly. It was only then that he softened his kisses…coaxing more of response out of her as he swung her up in his arms and carried her back to the master bedroom…their bedroom…and laid her gently on the bed.

He turned up the heat of the kisses again when he began to untie the belt on her robe…pulling back to look at her, dressed only in her lacy black bra and scanty matching underwear…and losing his breath at the sight. She sat up to meet him, sliding his tie from around his neck and unbuttoning his shirt…running her hands up his chest, then gently kissing his neck…and hearing him moan for a change. She continued re-exploring his body…a body that used to be more familiar than her own…circling his nipple with her tongue and biting down on it softly. She smiled against his chest when she heard him swear softly as he tried to undo the hooks of her bra.

When he was finally successful, he pushed her back down on the pillows, kissing the hollow between her breasts before he turned his attention to one and then the other…softly cupping them in one of his hands before his lips trailed over each peak. She sighed in contentment. This is how she remembered the way it used to be between them…so long ago. So there was no protest from her when he hooked a finger in the front of her briefs and slid them down and then off her legs.

Woody stopped long enough to look her in the eyes to see if there was any hesitation. There wasn't…just the smoky look of desire that she used to wear…and lips swollen from his kisses. He kissed her again…long and slow….then left a trail of kisses again between her breasts….to her navel….he gently circled his tongue around that indention and continued to kiss her even lower….whispering how much he had missed her…and this…

Jordan felt herself arch against him…suddenly and acutely aware she was no longer in control of her body…he was…and Woody was eliciting responses from her that she had thought were long forgotten. He continued to caress his way down her legs, pausing only long enough to remove his pants, shoes, and socks…taking his own sweet time. Then returning his attention to her lips.

He pulled back one more time…making sure she hadn't changed her mind…then slid into her with one thrust. She arched against him and met him movement for movement…murmuring his name in his ear…and softly sighing when it was over. Woody pulled the covers up closer around their cooling bodies and snuggled her head back down on his chest….dozing off to sleep until morning.

And the last coherent thought in her head wondered if what had just happened between them was enough to restablish their relationship or was it too little too late, too.


	9. The Charade is Over

**Chapter Nine**

**The Charade is Over**

Jordan got the answer to her question the next morning.

She woke up, bare and cold, and back in her own bed…Woody having put her there at sometime during the night or early morning hours…and he was nowhere to be found. Slowly she got up and showered… muscles now aching in places she hadn't had them ache in a long time. She was on her way to work when her cell phone rang.

"Hoyt," she said into the receiver.

"Hi, it's me. Can you come by my office on your way into work?" It was Woody…and he didn't sound like himself…he sounded exhausted….and not just from last night…There was a tenor in his voice that worried her.

"Sure. Be there in just a minute."

He was standing behind his desk, looking out the window when she opened his office door and let herself in. "Hey…what's up?" she greeted softly, taking in the sternness around his jaw and the hard look in his eyes.

"I made chief."

Jordan took a deep breath. "Congratulations…I'm so happy for you…" She went to walk around his desk and hug him. He pulled away.

"It's over, Jordan."

She looked at him blankly. "What?"

"You heard me. It's over…the charade is over. I got my papers this morning. It's official. I'm the new chief of police. You've done a great job pretending to be my wife…but it's over. You can go back to New York now."

"But…"

"But what? We both knew this was a temporary situation."

"Last night…"

"Last night was a mistake. Call it lust, call it reliving the good times…or what we used to have. We both know that it's been three years since we've been together…you've got your life and I've got mine. I'll always appreciate what you've done…and I'll make sure you get an ample settlement for your efforts, but too much time has passed. I'm sorry if you thought it was anything more."

Jordan nearly staggered at the weight of his words….last night meant nothing to him…she had only been toyed with to make sure she stayed around long enough so that he would be named chief. Now that he had, he didn't have any further use for her. Her Farm Boy had gotten harder that she ever dreamed he would…she never believed he would toy with any woman's affections…her heart…and then shut her down cold.

Last night had truly been too little too late, no matter how many times she had whispered she loved him and had missed him.

Then it hit her. At some point last night…maybe it was the second time he had reached for her in the dark, when she was nearly incoherent, she had told him she didn't want to leave him. She wanted to stay.

And Woody didn't want her after all. She bit her lip to control her tears. "No problem. I'll be out by tomorrow."

She turned and walked out of his office, shutting the door behind her.

She was so fast and so quiet, he didn't know she was gone until he heard his door slam. He sat down in his chair and put his head in his hands.

He never meant for last night to happen. From everything he had heard, Jordan had been happy in New York. He was sorry he had interrupted her life for this damn position….he had been fine with having her back…having her under their roof again… he had been in control…until he had kissed in the kitchen.

From that point on, he had one goal in mind. Get her back in their bed. And last night he had been successful…several times. Then, sometime around three in the morning the same old fear had gripped his stomach…too much time had passed….everything was his fault…and he just couldn't put her through this emotional train wreck again. He had gently lifted her and carried her back to her bed, tucking her in, showering himself and heading into the office. At nine, the fax had come through that he was now Boston's top cop.

No need in keeping her here in the quagmire of his guilt any longer. He could set her free. Send her back to New York. Get on with his life and enjoy his new position. He looked at the letter from Gains that had been faxed to his office this morning. Balling it up, he threw it across the room. What the hell had he done?

* * *

The drive to the cape was nice. It was a beautiful day…the sun was out. A nice summer day in Massachusetts. And Jordan didn't notice.

She had been better than her word to Woody. After leaving his office, feeling the broken pieces of her heart scatter along the way back to the morgue, she had stumbled into Garret's office. He had taken one look at her and held her as she crumbled against him. "What happened, Jordan?" he had asked, concern written all over his face.

Hesitantly, she told him everything…about the previous night…what she had said…Woody's reaction this morning. "He told me to leave," she said quietly, looking down at her hands.

"Where are you going to go?"

"I don't know…at least not yet."

"I can make a few calls…to Springfield and Cambridge, but it may take some time to pull everything together. Meanwhile, you could move in with me. Abby's old room is empty."

Jordan sighed and wiped her eyes. "Yeah… if you would, please make those calls…either place is fine. But I'd better not move in with you…if word got out that the chief's wife left him and moved in with her boss…it wouldn't be pretty."

Garret nearly grinned. He hadn't thought of that. "I told you to be careful, Jordan."

She nodded. "I know…but since when have I ever listened to you?"

He did grin then. "So where are you going?"

She stood, grabbing her jacket and her pocketbook. "I don't know…but I'll call you when I get there…and don't worry…I promise it won't be far…and this time I will be careful."

So here she was now, ignoring the beautiful summer day, heading down the Massachusetts' shoreline. She had left Garret's office, gone back to Woody's, quickly packed her things, and headed southeast. She fingered a key in her pocket. She was heading to the only piece of real estate that was totally hers….her grandmother's old vacation home on the Cape. It had been left to Jordan in her grandmother's will…and she hadn't been there in years. It was secluded and quiet…a perfect place to think things through and decide where she wanted to go from here.

Jordan turned into the drive way, ran up the steps and opened the door…it smelled musty…she'd do some cleaning and freshen things up…she always did her best thinking when she was busy, anyway. Hauling in her luggage, she stopped in the middle of the living room, looking out into the ocean…his eyes were the color of the ocean after a storm sometimes….when he was angry…or caught in a moment of passion…

She sighed as she began to get settled in. She feared getting over her husband was going to be harder the second time.


	10. Unexpected Company

**Chapter Ten**

**Unexpected Company**

Springfield had a position open right away…but it was on the other side of Massachusetts. Cambridge was far closer; however, it's first available position wouldn't be open until fall. Jordan felt her spirit fall when Garret relayed that information to her. "You could always come back here," he teased.

"Don't think I haven't considered it…and still might," she replied. Then after a minute, "Tell Cambridge I'll tentatively take the position…but if something else opens up, I'll have to go for it."

"Alright, Jordan. Just remember the door is always open here. What are you going to do in the meantime?"

"Clean this house…do some painting. I've go some money saved…so I'll be okay." Plus Woody had paid her the settlement he promised. She first thought about sending the money back and telling him to shove it where the sun doesn't shine…but as her financial state got more and more uncertain, she had banked the money. She had also drove the rental car to New York, turned it in there, retrieved her car and her other belongings, including her apartment deposit. Every little bit helped.

"If you need me, call me. And if you change your mind and want your old job back…it's yours."

"Sure thing, boss."

So her days settled down to a familiar, relaxed pattern: Up early, a run on the beach, breakfast, and then do whatever project she had going on at the house. The time had a certain sameness about it that was comforting while she was getting over Woody, yet at the same time, the days seemed to melt into one another, until one month had passed, and then two before she knew it.

Until one morning when she was in the middle of painting the living room and her doorbell rang. Startled, she climbed down off the ladder and cautiously went to the door. It was mid-morning. The only people that knew where she was at was Garret and Nigel. And it was unlikely they would be on her front stoop at 10 a.m. on a Wednesday. She opened the door just a crack, until she saw who it was…and then threw it open all the way. "Cal? How in the hell did you find me?"

Then it dawned on her. "Woody sent you, didn't he…he had to find me to settle the divorce, right? And he's made you the go-between?"

"Good morning to you, too, sis," Cal said, hugging her hard. "And no, no, and no – in answer to your questions."

Jordan looked at him, the confusion clear in her eyes. "So Woody doesn't know where I'm at?"

"No idea."

"And he didn't send you here for any reason?"

"Not a one. In fact, he has no idea I'm even back in Boston right now. I left over a week ago on business…not that Woods believes that. I think he really assumes I'm drug trafficking or something."

Jordan's eye narrowed. "So how did you find me…and what are you doing here?"

"Can I come in first? It's hot out here."

Jordan stepped back and allowed him through the door. "Been busy, I see," Cal said, noting her handiwork.

"Yeah, it keeps me occupied and out of trouble until my job starts in the fall." She sat down on the couch beside Cal.

"And what job would that be?"

"A ME in Cambridge."

Cal raised his eyebrows. "Not New York?"

"Nah. I realized when I was back in Boston this spring that I missed my friends too much. So Garret is getting me a position in Cambridge."

Cal carefully looked Jordan over. "Why not one back in Boston?"

"Isn't that sort of obvious? Woody's in Boston. He doesn't want me there."

"Ah…my brother."

"Yes…your brother. And if didn't send you, why are you here and how did you find me?"

Cal grinned at her…the Hoyt dimples showing at the corners of his mouth. "With my new job, I have ways of finding people…and no, it's not illegal," he joked, noticing her expression. "I am totally legit and have been for two years now, despite what Woody may say or think. And I'm here because … well, I was worried about you. I go over to see Wood a couple of weeks ago, and you're gone. Poof! Just like that. Woody said you had already gone back to New York. Only you weren't in New York. I know. I checked. You were here."

"Who told you?"

"I twisted Garret's arm a little…said I was worried about you. And he was, too. Told him I was going to be through the area and I'd look you up and make sure my favorite sister-in-law was okay.

"I'm doing fine. And I'm your only sister-in-law."

"Then it's a good thing you're my favorite."

They both laughed at the light joke that Cal made and he reached over and gently laced his fingers with Jordan's. "He's changed, you know, Jo…Woody, that is."

Jordan looked down at their laced fingers. "I know…he began to change after the miscarriage. I don't fault him for being ambitious, but he's just so cold and hard."

Cal nodded. "Work…all he does is work….that's his mistress and his mantra. He's forgotten what's really important in his life…he's forgotten you."

Jordan squeezed her eyes shut to keep the tears at bay. "After we lost the baby…so much changed."

"You know for some strange reason, he blames himself for the miscarriage."

"I know…I've tried to tell him that nothing could have prevented it…and the odds of it happening again are nil, but he won't believe me."

"That's my brother…the guilt of the world on his shoulders. The Adidas of guilt."

Jordan nodded. It was an accurate description. She felt Cal's fingers tighten around hers. "He's worse now that you left him the second time."

"He told me to go…"

"I know…but I think he anticipated you wouldn't do what he asked…you never did."

Jordan chuckled. "Neither you nor I ever really did what he asked. But I'm not going to stay where I'm not wanted."

Cal gently lifted her face to look at his. "What if I told you I wanted you, Jordan?"

Jordan looked wide-eyed into Cal's face. He couldn't be serious. "Cal," she sputtered, "You don't mean it…we'd end up killing each other in a week. And Woody…oh my God…"

"It could work, Jordan. It could. Won't you at least try?"

Jordan felt as if she was running the Boston marathon in circles. "No.." panic was clutching at her stomach. Cal needed to leave before she started hyperventilating for something. "It wouldn't work. It would never work."

"Why?"

She took a deep breath. "Because you're not Woody."

She glanced up at Cal, who was grinning smugly at her. "I knew it. You still love my brother."

Jordan felt her face flush as she realized what Cal had done. He had been testing the waters just to see if his sister-in-law had moved on with her life. She nodded, nearly ashamed at the admission. "But don't tell him…please. Just let him go ahead with his life."

Cal nodded and stood to leave. "I'm glad you're okay, Jordan. And I hope my pig-headed brother comes to his senses soon…or else someone will snap you up right out from under him."

"But not you."

Cal grinned wider. "No. Never. For your information, I have a girlfriend. A fiancé as a matter of fact."

Jordan's jaw dropped in amazement. Cal … love 'em and leave 'em Cal was serious about _one_ woman?

"You can shut your mouth, Jordan," he teased gently. "I have a fiancé. I met her through work. She's a doctor – an obstetrician, as a matter of fact."

"An obstetrician? Cal, what kind of job do you have?"

"I'm head of security for the medical research units of Boston University Hospitals."

Jordan's head swam just a minute. "You're head of security? Does Woody know about this?"

"Nope. He wouldn't believe me if I told him. I'm sure it will come up at sometime, just like my fiancé will."

"You haven't told him you're getting married, either?"

Cal grinned. "Nope. You're the first one I've let know that Calvin Hoyt is no longer on the market. He's found himself a great girl who loves him for who he is…not what people expect him to be. And as a result, I want to be the best man I can for her. She's a wonderful woman, present company not excluded, of course."

He walked over to the door and Jordan followed. "Take care of yourself, Jo. And remember…somewhere under all those layers of hurt…coldness…and anger…Woody still loves you. Very much." And with that, he was gone.

Jordan remained in the doorway and looked down the road long after Cal was gone. She was glad one Hoyt brother was finally finding happiness. She'd bet her bottom dollar the other one didn't know where to find it.


	11. Finding Her

**Chapter Eleven**

**Finding Her**

Two months as chief of police and Woody felt like his life was going to hell in a hand basket. Not work, of course. He was too professional for that…he had invested too much time and effort to let anything screw up his tenure as chief.

No…it was his personal life…or rather his lack of one. Everywhere he turned, he saw her. He still smelled her on his bed sheets…saw her in his room…

Felt her in his arms.

He thought the feeling would go away eventually, especially the day he came home and found her gone. And yes, he realized he was the one that had told her to go…he just didn't think she would. She rarely had ever done anything he asked.

So why did she have to start now?

They had one night together…one night where he discovered that _some_ things had not changed between them. One night when he re-discovered that he could elicit responses out of her that no other man could.

And one night to remember just how well she could return the favor.

But now, she was back in New York, back to her old life…she was probably getting ready to begin fall semester.

He sat back down at his desk, looking at the pile of paperwork he really needed to wade into. Somehow his heart wasn't there….he kept being drawn to the picture under the glass of his desk. The one he had taken with him when he moved into the chief's office. The one of Jordan on their wedding day. Even though that had been six years ago, she hadn't changed. She was still just as lovely…even if her eyes were sad now. He reckoned he was part of the reason for the sadness.

"Yo, bro, how's it going up here? The air too thin for you yet?" Cal propped against the frame of Woody's door and grinned at him.

"Good morning, Cal. What do you want?" Woody replied, a bitter edge to his voice.

"Well, for one, it's not morning. It's afternoon. And I was hoping you might want to go to lunch. The last two times I've offered to take you, you've said no."

"Don't you mean have _me_ take _you_ to lunch?"

Cal shook his head. "No. I've been trying to take you to lunch for a month. The first time I ended up eating drive-through by myself and the second time Jordan and I went out for Mexican."

"Jordan…" the name rolled off Woody's tongue involuntarily. As a matter of fact, he didn't consciously know he had said it until he found Cal staring at him curiously.

"Miss her, don't you?" Cal dropped down into a seat in front of his brother's desk.

Turning his chair away from his brother, Woody looked out over the city he had vowed to serve and protect. "Yeah," he said in a breathless tone. "I do. I think I always have."

"Then why did you ever let her go in the first place?"

Woody sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I don't know…it's complicated."

"Since when has anything in our lives not been?" Call smiled at his brother…a sad smile that made Woody realize that Cal remembered just how hard both of their lives had been…and while Woody had retreated from the pain by pretending none of it affected him, Cal had wallowed in ways to make him forget it…even if the amnesia was temporary. "So…tell me."

"The miscarriage…after we lost the baby…I felt like I was losing control…that I couldn't protect Jordan or take care of her the way she needed to be. So I began to work harder…make more promotions…have a better income, so that whatever she wanted, I could give her."

"And let me guess…she didn't appreciate it. Women…."

"No…no…it wasn't that. What she wanted, I felt I couldn't give her."

"Which was?"

"Me. Time with me…intimacy. I was afraid she'd get pregnant and miscarry again. And I knew I couldn't handle seeing the grief in her eyes once more…I felt like it was my fault."

"It wasn't. It was just one of those things," Cal said softly, looking at his brother with understanding in his eyes.

"I know that now…but now it's too late…too much time has passed. She has a new life in New York…"

"How do you know?"

"I assume that's where she's at now."

"You know what happens when you assume, Woods."

Woody stared blankly at Cal for a second. "Where is she?"

"Uh-uh."

"What?"

"You heard me. I'm not telling."

"Calvin…I'm warning you. She's still my wife."

"And when I saw her yesterday I promised I wouldn't tell you where she was at."

"You….saw….her…" Woody stuttered the words out.

"Yes…and she's doing quiet well considering she misses you like hell…as much as you're missing her. You both have got to be the most stubborn people I've ever come across…and believe me, I've come across some crazy people in my lifetime. You two obviously love each other. She TOLD me she still loves you. And you just sat right there in front of me and said the same thing. So why the hell are you staying apart?'

"I told you it was complicated…."

"No…_you're_ making it complicated. Intimacy…fear of another miscarriage….stupid stuff, man."

"No, it's not."

"Ah…but there's where you're wrong. In the great scheme of things, it truly is. Twenty years from now, when you're ready to retire…who's going to be the face you look at across the table from you…when you don't have an office to eat dinner in anymore? Who's going to be around to remind you to take your medication? Tell you where you left your teeth? Hold you're hand when you're lonely because the kids are so far away they can't visit every weekend? And further more _who do you want to hold your hand then_?"

In just that moment, Woody realized Cal had done something his brother wasn't aware of. Somewhere between the last time Woody bailed him out of trouble and right now, Cal had grown up. "When did you get so wise?" he quietly asked his brother.

"I had a good example in an older brother I was lucky enough to have…that and one hell of a good girl that loves me."

"Cal's got a girlfriend," Woody teased in a sing-song voice.

"Cal's got a fiancé," he replied, getting up to leave.

"You what?" The disbelief was dripping from Woody's voice.

"Geeze…you and Jordan….I have a fiance."

"When…and who…and how…?'

"I met her on the job…"

"You have a job?" More disbelief.

"Yes, asshole…a job. I can hold one down. I'm head of security for the research units at Massachusetts General Hospital. I met Dr. Heather Russell in one of the units. She's an obstetrician. And one hell of a woman." Cal's face broke into a huge smile. "And best of all…she loves me for me…not what people think I should be."

Woody stood to shake his brother's hand. "Congratulations, man. I mean…wow…when do I get to meet my future sister-in-law?"

"In a couple of weeks. I'd like for you and Jordan to be at the wedding….and the christening. Think about becoming godparents, okay?"

Woody shook his head to make sure he heard right. "Christening?"

"Yeah. We love each other…knew it was right…and that we weren't getting any younger…it just soft of 'happened', for lack of a better explanation. She's thrilled, I'm overjoyed….excited…Anyway, we're getting married in two weeks. It'll be a quiet ceremony with family and a few friends and a nice reception. I would love to see both of you there."

"Sure…no problem on this end…but you have to tell me how to get in touch with my wife."

"I told you I promised her I wouldn't. You're Boston's top cop. You figure it out."

"But I don't know where to start looking…"

"Ah…but that's the joy of it…love's supposed to conquer all." Cal began to back out of the room. "I didn't use credit cards when I went to see her, so you can't trace them to find her. And forget the GPS thing. For once, Woody, you're going to have to trust your heart and find her the old-fashioned way."

"And how's that?"

"Talking to her on the phone and doing a hell of a lot of groveling. But.., if I know Jordan as well as I think I do, she won't leave you down on your knees for long."

"Really?"

"Nope…she'll have you in her arms the minute you tell her you're sorry and can't live with out her."

Woody grinned and picked up his cell phone. "I sure as hell hope so…"


	12. No One Ever Said It Was Going to be Easy

**Chapter Twelve**

**No One Said It Was Going to be Easy**

Nothing you really want in life comes easy…and no one ever promised life was going to be fair.

And that's what Woody found out the hard way with Jordan. The call was difficult. So much had been said and there was so much hurt between them – sometimes it seemed like an insurmountable wall. He had mumbled to her over his phone that he needed to see her, and she had wanted to know why.

"Because that last night we had together…I was wrong…I don't want it to be temporary. I miss you, Jordan."

"You do?"

"Yeah…Can I see you?"

Jordan had rolled that around in her mind for a few seconds. Finally, blowing out a breath she felt she had been holding for three years, she said "Yeah, sure. Where?"

"Where are you at?"

"My grandmother's house at the Cape."

He had made the drive in record time. She didn't answer his knock at the door, but looking out towards the beach, he saw her slight form walking up the beach. He quickly found the path out there, taking off his shoes and socks, and rolling up the pants legs of his jeans. "Hey," he greeted, stopping in front of her and looking deep into her eyes.

"So you missed me?"

Woody reached out and gently put his hands on her shoulders. "More than you'll ever know. Probably more than I even cognitively realize."

"Oh." She bit her lip, looking up into his eyes.

She wasn't making his groveling easy at all. "Jordan…I'm sorry. I was wrong…on so many levels…"

"Want to talk about it?" She slipped her hand into his and began to lead him down the beach.

And for the first time in three years, Woody bared his soul to her. His fears about a new pregnancy…another miscarriage….the reason he had pursued so many promotions in such a short time. "Why didn't tell you tell me to begin with?" she asked quietly, stopping to pull him to her.

"You were grieving so hard…for the baby. I just didn't…I didn't know how to make it better. I've always been able to protect you, Jordan…when there was no one else to turn to, I was always there for you…I could make whatever it was hurting you go away. This one time…the most painful time in your life…I couldn't do a damn thing. Not a damn thing. I've never felt so helpless in my life."

"Woody…all I needed was _you_. That's all…just you. I thought you were pushing me away."

"No…I didn't mean to…I just thought…"

She leaned up and softly kissed him. "It's okay. It's over. So…we've wasted some time…but we have the rest of our lives ahead of us…that is, if the chief wants his wife back on a permanent basis." A grin began to kick up the corners of her mouth.

He pulled her into his arms. "Oh, yes…"

* * *

Woody glanced over at his wife, who was looking radiantly happy while holding their godchild, Cal's and Heather's daughter. He had initially be just a little afraid that the christening would be too hard on Jordan…bringing back up memories of what they didn't have. She had set his concerns aside. "It'll be a blast…just think of how you can finally get back at Cal….spoil Lauren rotten and then send her home for her dad to deal with. Who said revenge isn't sweet?"

He had to agree. His niece was beautiful. And Heather was hopelessly in love with Cal. Life had worked out better for his little brother than Woody could have ever imagined. And so had his. Jordan was back in their house…although weekends found them at Jordan's Cape house. It was secluded and they had time alone… time to rebuild their relationship…And Cal had been right. Once Woody had told Jordan what had happened … she had him in her arms.

"Isn't she sweet?" Jordan cooed over Lauren, interrupting his thoughts.

"She is until the minute she starts screaming for Mama," Woody replied, gently offering his finger to Lauren for her curl her tiny fist around.

"Does it make you think of anything?"

"Yeah…like how many months is it going to be before Cal gets to sleep straight through the night…and how grouchy is he going to be until then?"

"Not exactly what I'm thinking about…" Jordan handed off a squirming Lauren back off to Heather…the baby was getting hungry.

"And what were you thinking, Mrs. Hoyt?"

"How nice going home and making a baby with my husband would be…." She looked up at him to gauge his reaction.

"Hmmmm. I'm still not sure I'm ready for that…but I'm willing to go home and practice…"

"Well…they say practice makes perfect…"

No…no one ever said life was going to be easy or fair…but at least this was a good start.


End file.
